Carmilla Webseries: Episode 28/29 “Blame Enough For All”/”PTSD & Brownies”

So, when we left our Team of Daring Dos last week, LaF—our darling, brilliant, clever, brave, genderqueer, FOR SCIENCE! LaF—had apparently been taken by Mother and the rest of...

So, when we left our Team of Daring Dos last week, LaF—our darling, brilliant, clever, brave, genderqueer, FOR SCIENCE! LaF—had apparently been taken by Mother and the rest of the Vampire Cult to the Wannabe God.

There was a note—a horrible note—and LaF’s room was a wreck.

(Although, there was no mention that Perry had found any of that cerebral-spinal fluid that had been found with the previously abducted, but I’m totally grasping at straws here. I’M ALLOWED. I’M NOT OKAY WITH A DISAPPEARED!LAF.)

So, we spend this week’s episodes with Perry totally blaming herself and Laura totally blaming herself; hence, the “Blame Enough For All” title, even though Carmilla has a point: it’s not their faults—collective or otherwise.

They’re not the ones abducting women to feed to something Old Enough To Think It’s A God; they’re not the ones infecting women with brain-parasites that turn them into Pod People.

And, as much as Laura isn’t doing as well as she’d like, she’s trying to save lives—not hurt people.

So—Perry’s had more-than-enough and kinda has a case of the vapors (because this is originally based upon a Gothic novella so vapors are a Thing That Happens), collapses upon Laura’s bed and sleeps.

Sleeps through Laura’s verbal self-recriminations and Carmilla’s clear awareness that, maybe, if she had just actively stood up to her Mother—if Carmilla had given LaF a charm, if she had kept a better eye on the little group who have become her friends and allies, if she has spoken up sooner—all of this could have been avoided.

If, if, if, if, if, if, if…

Yeah, there’s blame enough.

And, Perry deals as we would expect Perry to deal because Perry: cleaning and baking and planning.

Even if it’s fruitless and leads to nothing, Perry has the beginnings of a plan.

Step One: Stop real-timing the videos, Laura.

Seriously.

I’m with Perr on that one, really. THIS IS NOT HOW YOU KEEP THE BLACK HATS FROM KNOWING WHERE YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU’RE DOING, Y’ALL.

Although, it is rather adorable to watch Laura try to get her big brain around how to hire mercenaries.

Bless.

Really, so much of what happens in these episodes is adorable and, if LaF wasn’t missing and Perry wasn’t having a panic-induced Fit of the Tidies and Laura wasn’t about to guilt herself into the next dimension and offer herself as sacrifice to get LaF back, they’d be a lovely frolic with all sorts of adorbs Laura/Carmilla moments—the waltzing, everyone saw that right?!?!?!—and Perry being Perry being Perry and Carmilla rockin’ that tone of nostalgia she uses when she thinks about the past: “We drank too much and danced like fools.”

Which—these are the episodes that epitomize what we all do when we’re faced with The End Of The World As We Know It. (Intentional REM reference totally intentional.)

Because, for Perry and Laura, there’s not much more that could be as world-endingly horrible as to lose LaF.

Even Carmilla’s got the worried face going.

*insert Research Party/Cleaning montage here*

Because, yeah, we had to have a Research Party montage with the Sumerian Book of DO NOT WANT eventually because Carmilla is very aware of its forbearers (re: Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference is very much present).

And, Perr spills blood on the Book of DO NOT WANT, which of course reveals more writing.

Because subtlety is definitely a thing that’s lacking for the Wannabe-Gods that they’re reading about, but that’s the problem with horrors that have existed since before the dawn of time—their lack of subtlety.

However, it reveals a new entry that speaks of a “Light Who Devours”: LaFilphormes.

Who basically eats the minds of its victims and increases its own light in order to draw more minds in, and once the victims have been chosen, their only interest is celebration.

And, if L is any indication, they’re still aware in the Light.

Talk about DON’T GO INTO THE LIGHT, CAROLANNE.

Wow, there’s an IT vibe to this too with the dead-lights.

I’m really never sleeping again.

Yet the “interest is celebration” would explain the Smart Girl to Party Girl Pod-Person-ness.

Which—I kinda have a problem with the implication that has unfortunately been presented in extremis throughout Carmilla so far that there’s a paradigm between Smart Girls and Party Girls, that one can only be one or the other and that is an incredibly problematic portrayal to present—especially when the Party Girls in question definitely have an edge of “slut” to them, which only makes the Party Girl stereotype more horrible because it’s slut-shaming too.

Carmilla does so well most of the time—there was even an explanation for why the cast was lacking in diversity that really had to do with the way actors are union-ed or non-union-ed in Canada—but this slut-shaming is something that has never not been a problem in this series.

DO BETTER, SHOW.

Yet, curiouser and curiouser, LaF’s twitter name is also LaFilphormes?!?!?!?

(And, by-the-by, LaFilphormes is very close in spelling to Lophiiformes, which is the same teleost order as the Anglerfish—but then, it’s also the same teleost for a lot of fish. ANGLERFISH COMES UP FIRST THOUGH IN THE GOOGLE SEARCH. Yet, since LaF is a Bio major, that might explain the similarity. Or not.)

So, Team Junior Lois Lane now knows what it’s up against.

Just as LaF reappears.

And, with LaF, a few questions come to the foreground: How is the Light Who Devours denoting “women”? Because LaF is genderqueer, so is the Light going by biology, and if someone were intersex, would they not be a viable candidate?

Also, the entire virginity thing—especially in regards to ritual sacrifice—seems kinda hinky since virginity is a really nebulous state of being. Does the Light use a kyriarchical definition? Or, is the Light using an older definition that basically comes down to new, unspilt blood?

Blood magic’s tricky that way.

But, LaF is back, and they didn’t know that they had been missing.

LaF’s understandably scared.

I can’t watch.

I can’t watch.

Image courtesy Vervegirl TV

Trie – Deputy Editor

Hey, I’m ‘trie (sounds like “tree”). I’m a university-educated mixed media artist, wannabe writer, and the poster child for the nerd-geek-dork trifecta. I’m also a gender queer, pansexual, polyamorous feminist and Hellenic pagan with a social media habit like whoa.
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