Finding time for sex can be hard sometimes. Add in a taste for long BDSM scenes and it can be almost impossible for things to be spontaneous when your life gets a little bit hectic. While almost everyone has experienced this to some extent, there is still a prevalent notion that in order for sex to be worth it, it has to be that spur-of-the-moment, can’t-help-yourselves, fucking-all-over-the-house-until-you-finally-reach-the-bed kind of sex. Problem is, that’s not always possible and if you wait until only those moments, you’ll keep waiting until one day you realize it’s been months since you and your partner had sex. It might sound counter-intuitive, but one of the best ways to prevent this is to schedule time with your partner.
I get that your gut reaction might be to think that there’s no way scheduled sex can be romantic or passionate, and hell, I thought the same thing once. The thing to keep in mind is that we often, in a BDSM context at least, plan our sex to some degree. We think days in advance what we want to do to or for our partners and then we wait until the opportunity arises. With planning sex, there’s no “waiting for the right time”, you know when it’s going to happen, and you then have plenty of time to think about how that session will go.
There’s also a bit of a thrill involved in knowing exactly when your submissive will drop to their knees or when a Dominant will pull out the rope. Say you and your partner work out that you only have a single evening during the week that’s not taken up by work, studying, babysitting, or whatever it is that takes up your time, then you both spend the rest of your week waiting for that day. You have days to spend thinking of what might happen, what you want to happen. For many of us, I would bet we already think of those things and we hope we have the chance to fuck our partners soon. Unfortunately, just hoping it happens often means it doesn’t.
It might only be out of necessity that you find that scheduling sex isn’t as weird as you once thought, but it’s an option to keep in mind. Even if your life now allows for some spontaneity, it probably won’t always. The most important thing to remember about planning sex though, is that you actually have to do it when it’s planned. If you don’t, then what was the point? Who cares if you’re tired and had a long day, sometimes you find that the best thing for you is what your partner has been planning for you all week.