Uncanny Avengers 13
The ill-advised run of Uncanny Avengers continues, with the previous issue leaving off just as Wonder-Man has agreed to help a possibly mind-controlled Scarlet Witch aid the Apocalypse Twins in their mutant rapture (where they want to move all the mutants to a new planet to live apart from humans). Meanwhile, Captain America, Wasp, and Havok are fighting Banshee in Socotra, an abandoned city that was once a stronghold for followers of the Twins. Remender’s problems with the mutant metaphor (and also with writing and characterization) continue to increase, as there’s a wonderful speech about how Havok’s message of “colorblindness” towards mutants is selling out his own people and how hypocritical it is that Cap has done so little for mutants, given his status as the son of Irish immigrants during a time of great discrimination towards them—but this speech is given by Banshee, who’s the bad guy. Just like he did with Rogue, the viewpoints of the people who disagree with Havok’s message (and therefore disagree with Remender) are being given to characters we’re either supposed to perceive as whiny and wrong or the antagonist fighting to destroy the heroes. Great.
Havok continues to fight Banshee, mostly unsuccessfully, until Wasp manages to destroy his vocal cords from the inside out, making him vulnerable to a powerful cosmic blast from Havok. Cap shows up after Banshee is down with extensive hearing damage from taking a direct sonic blast, and the three of them head to attempt to dismantle something called a “tachyon dam” around the Twins’ ship. Meanwhile, Thor uses his portal-creating abilities to summon rain onto a planet devastated by the Sentry’s attack. On the Twins’ ship, Wanda and Simon join the Twins for a meal, restating Wanda’s commitment to casting the spell to summon all the mutants. Elsewhere, Daken continues beating and torturing his father, blaming Wolverine for the treatment of mutants in the future that the Twins have seen, as he claims Sabertooth recorded Wolverine’s murder of his own son and that recording is now in the hands of the Red Skull, who will use it to turn the world against mutants. As Jan tries to get through the Twins’ guards, she’s confronted by Sentry, as Havok and Cap fight against guards mounted on what look like giant crabs. They find a statue of the Twins that leads them to wonder if Immortus’ warning, “Once divided, all is lost,” refers to a way to defeat the Twins. Back on the Twins’ ship, Wanda and Simon sneak a private conversation during an intimate moment, and Wanda reveals that she’s not going along with the Twins’ plans completely: she intends to bring them all as a united army of mutants, in order to take down the Twins. Sunfire and Rogue find Wolverine, much the worse for wear, who asks them to stop the Twins before he passes out (or possibly dies). Rogue absorbs some of Wolverine’s powers, and sets off with Sunfire to “stop [Wanda] once and for all,” since she believes Wanda’s helping the Twins.
I’ll be honest with you all: I’m still finding it extremely hard to care about Uncanny Avengers one bit. I’m not interested in the storyline, I’m not drawn in by the characters (even though some of them are among my favorite characters in the Marvel universe), and it makes me angry more often than not. This issue is no exception, with cheap gags and unkind portrayals galore. Steve is “hilariously” portrayed as the deaf old man for far too much of this issue, with the hearing loss from Banshee’s scream resulting in him yelling everything he’s saying and having everyone remind him he’s yelling. Yawn. Old man jokes have been done to death about Captain America (although my favorite one will always be in Avengers 34—feel free to check out the scans).
There’s even a page where Jan apparently struggles to say the word “ant” when comparing the size of the Twins’ ship to the original Apocalypse, and subsequently gets teased for it by Alex. Delving into the many problems with this would take far too much time, so I’ll just leave it by saying that if Jan is so traumatized by her relationship with Hank that she can’t even say the word “ant,” that is not something for which she should be made fun of. Like any traumatic or triggering situation, it is not something that should be treated as comic. (Also, I have no idea why Remender seems to insist on pairing up members of his new team romantically. Apparently Jan is interested in Alex, and Wanda and Simon seem to have rekindled their old relationship. I don’t know. I honestly don’t care, except that Jan needs better taste in men.) I’m not quite sure what they want us to think happened to Wolverine at the end of the issue—is he dead? Is he unconscious? I have no idea. Hopefully we’ll find out in the next issue. I’m betting he’ll be fine, as not much keeps Logan off the battlefield for long.
Eve is asexual panromantic, a graduate student with no time for sleep (but always time for comics), a senior contributing writer for the Rainbow Hub, and an avid consumer of any type of media she can get her hands on. When not perusing her incredibly large collection of Marvel comics, she can be found reading, knitting in front of the TV, or on her laptop.