For some reason, when it comes to anal sex, women are assumed to be completely uninterested. Even women who do like it feel embarrassed coming forward and admitting they willingly have anal. It’s worse when their friends might make comments along the lines of “thank god (s)he’s never tried to put something there” (yes, I’m imagining these words coming from an E.L. James fan). Here’s the thing though, plenty of women do like anal stimulation of some sort and too many others believe it has to be painful. There are many ways to enjoy a bit of anal play though and it certainly doesn’t have to be the scary thing it’s often portrayed as.
I know when I was younger and first hearing about different sexual acts, I always heard of anal in a way that made it pretty clear that it wasn’t for the woman to enjoy. I had this idea that it was always painful and only something a partner with a penis could enjoy. I know better now, and damn, I’m happy I do. I admit though, I was a little scared at first, but then I was with a partner who had already gone through the steps of getting over fears of anal play. Now I know a few ways to not only bring pleasure to my partner, but also myself while we are playing.
First of all, if you and your partner are interested in branching out into anal play, my advice to you is this: you don’t need a toy. Seriously, tongues and fingers work wonderfully and are a great place to start because they require no investment. I know, I know, tongues seem weird and gross. It’s not. Bodies are pretty great about cleaning themselves. And while I hate to say “don’t be scared of starting” I also want to caution you to take things slowly. If your partner isn’t used to having a finger in their ass, it won’t be comfortable unless you take your time. Start slow, but don’t be afraid to start.
My advice to start slow continues beyond rimming or fingering, however. If you do figure out that you like the feeling of basic anal play, I would absolutely advise that you start looking for toys. Here’s the thing though, don’t be too ambitious. Yes, that heavy metal butt plug might look great and it would be great to have something so easy to clean, but you have to keep in mind that there are certainly different levels of skill involved with anal play. Some people can keep a two pound plug coated in lube inside, some can handle a whole string of anal beads as long as they aren’t too wide, and some can’t handle length or weight, but they will happily walk around all day with a butt plug in that’s four inches in diameter.
As with all things, anal play is a matter of knowing what suits you best. If you’re not at all interested in it, then don’t worry. If you are practiced enough for your partner to fuck you with an 8”… whatever, well, then you’ve obviously already figured out what works for you. The majority of people will fall in-between those extremes, and there are many, many toys out there to explore. I can tell you that I’m a fan of glass plugs that focus on length more than girth, but that might not be what works for you. Read reviews, do your research, ask me if you’d like, but no matter what, don’t feel as if it can’t be enjoyable.
MYKA IS A LESBIAN DOMME IN HER 20’S LIVING WITH HER GIRLFRIEND WHO FORTUNATELY ALSO SERVES AS HER SUB. THEY LIVE IN OHIO AND DISCUSS ANYTHING FROM RELIGION TO RECIPES WHILE MYKA PLANS THEIR NEXT SCENE. THOUGH SEX IS OBVIOUSLY A TOPIC OF CHOICE, MYKA WILL HAPPILY TALK ABOUT ANYTHING. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR HER OR WOULD LIKE FOR HER TO ADDRESS A CERTAIN ISSUE, YOU CAN EMAIL HER AT MYKA.KENT@GMAIL.COM, FOLLOW HER ON TWITTER @MYKAKENT, OR THERE’S ALWAYS THE TUMBLR SHE RUNS WITH HER SUB – PROSERPINE.TUMBLR.COM.